I have found that writing a weekly a blog is kinda one part satire and one part soapbox. You try to make it interesting and relevant (with a hint of lime). Like everyone, I have opinions and I try to stay somewhere in the middle but every once in a while I get myself up in a lather.  Sometimes it’s someone elses lather that’s blog worthy, but you have to take everyting with a grain of salt.

As they say in my favorite movie ‘This Is spinal Tap’, David St. Hubbins: “It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.”. 

There is so much going on these days that it’s hard not to get up on that soapbox.  I was helping out a client and just mentioned that I am glad I am not showing up to a cubicle wondering if there would a “Do Not Enter” tape around it and armed guard there to escort me out. His reply could have been bound and abridged.  He ended it by saying “I will get off my soapbox now.”.  

With so much negative news and uncertainty these days some people just love feeding the controversy.  Most of us have a hard enough time trying to fight spam… but the latest craze is the political chain letters that if you don’t forward it to 10 people they will take away your Starbucks frequent buyers club card.  This week it’s been a wave of anti-Obama - fear-o-rama eRaves that range from he is going to eat your children and steal your 101K, to end of days.  It’s like being stuck at a Trekie convention but that are all dressed up as Rush Limbaugh.  

The Upgrade Conundrum

When I was a kid, life had it’s milestones that made me work myself into a lather.  None more exciting than Christmas morning.  It was impossible to get to sleep and when I woke up there was gifts piled higher than the tree.  It was a family frenzy to find a package with you name on it, unwrap, it, gawk at it, carefully pile it (so not to confuse your siblings into thinking that it might be theirs’)… breathe… lather… and repeat. We did this until you could not see carpet any more because the wrapping paper was piled 8″ high across the room.

This Christmas, we have a plan to go to the movies on Christmas Day.  Kim is a reader and I am a listener.  She buys and reads books and I download them to my IPhone.  One book we both loved was ‘Marley and Me’ by John Grogin.  Being dog lovers, this was both one of the funniest and heartbreaking books listened to recently. Having had numerous dogs in our lives, you kinda know the ending before you hit page one (just like when I ruined a screening of Titanic for my Dad’s wife by telling her the boat sinks at the opening credits).  And I Quote… ”It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.”.

Marley and Me the Movie (you have to watch the trailer - click left) opens on Christmas day and we have plans to go see it. Christmas used to be filled with shopping and wrapping and shipping.  With my parents gone, Kim’s dad out of state, and our siblings and their kids growing older, we mostly all agreed to stop the money laundering and just get together when we can. So we go to church Christmas Eve and have the kids come home Christmas morning.  That leaves us with little to do on Christmas evening. 

But I Digress…

It’s kinda the same lather when a new computer shows up at the door.  I carefully unwrap it and slowly connect cables waiting for that sound.  I usually wait 3-4 years before I have to replace a computer because it is too slow or too old to handle the latest software and hardware out there.  I try to make it a point to skip a generation of hardware or software since the changes are usually cool but fall short on the daily useful scale.  I will probably get IPhone 3 but I have no need or desire to switch just yet.

This week, I was trying to capture some video off of TV.  I normally used my Eye TV (Version 2) only to find out it won’t work with AT&T UVerse.  Then I tried my Pinnacle Video Box but it just locked up my Final Cut (Version 4).  So more software and hardware out of date.

Next comes loading all that software.  As time goes by I get eMails and snail mails compelling me to upgrade to the latest version of…  My list of outdated software includes Adobe Creative Suite 4, Director 11, In Design CS4, Camtasia 6, Final Cut Studio 6, Peak 6, MS Office Mac 2008, Quickbooks 2009,  EyeTV 3, SoundSoap 2, Toast 9, Retrospect, and dozens of other utilities, plug-ins and various shareware.

Now granted, I have more software than most but I use them all for projects throughout the year.  That software represents over a $10,000-$15,000 investment (3-5 times the cost of the computers) and just upgrading the Adobe products alone would be $1,200.  Keeping up with the Jones’ had been replaced with keeping up with the up-grades.

Many found that out jumping on the Vista bandwagon, only to find that their printers and scanners no longer work with Windowz and had to drop hundreds replacing perfectly good gear.

The best way I can deal with it is only upgrade when a project almost demands it.  That way I can somewhat recoup the costs (even if it only makes me feel better dropping the dough!).  I can easily get reeled in by “Order now for a Discount”  or “180 Days Same as Cash”.  It’s a vicious cycle of… “Can I get this car to start one more time or is it costing me more in repairs than a buying a new-used one?”.  Once they get you with the “Download a Free Trial” drug, you are hooked…  Anyone know of a good software junkie rehab facility?  Don’t Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have IPhones?

In these tight times I have to be more selective than ever.  And I Quote… ”It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.”.

I better step down now…  my soapbox is beginning to crack under the weight of my rants… but the lather has left me with a minty fresh Life Buoy feeling!

Some weeks are just more interesting than others.  Even though we just elected a President who polarized a nation it was a normal week.  Whether you love or fear Barama (my SMS shortcut for Barack or Obama or Barack Obama), you have to take a stand back and say that America came out in droves and made a choice.  I voted and I am proud to have that chance.  One thing is fer sure (Caveman speak), we are all in this together… part of the problems and part of the solutions.  

I watch way to much TV but I’m in marketing and advertising so I call it research!  Geico uses the Gecko, the Pips, and the Caveman to reach multiple audiences! Chances are you have seen or heard some of these. The dewd is so cool when he sits in a pool with an IPod and probably a Barama Mama (a new drink I invented) off screen.  The Caveman was so popular that they started a TV show (lasted only six episodes) and a website. All this to make you forget that you are buying sub prime car insurance. 

Last weekend I was doing my normal Sunday night and watching Extreme Home Makeover with Kim (skipping those Geico commercials).  They featured a family who’s dad teaches boxing in upstate NY to under privileged kids.  Then I thought of my brotha’ Bryant.  He is a musician and partner in a ministry a called C.E.O. (Christian Enterprise Opportunities) at Ginger Creek Community Church. Bryant, through outreach ministries, teaches underprivileged kids Tae Kwon Do.  We held our Monday night meeting watching Bryant do his stuff and saw light bulbs going off in the kids and our heads.  It’s about caring, confidence and compassion.  Giving back to the community is awesome.  Standing in front of the community is conviction.

Today, I was in Wal Mart picking up a few things before the Bears Game today (Kyle Orton is looking more and more like a Caveman these days).  There was a student from Marmion High outside the store handing out flyers and collecting basics for the troops.  I bought a few and dropped off (but that is such a small gesture). 

When I checked out there was Christmas music playing.  I told the dewd at the check out that I felt sorry for him that he has to listen to that Muzak day out and day in till New Years.   During the holidays, people tend to give more, but this year is proving more of a challenge. I also know so many people who work year round to give, volunteer, and advocate (Live United). It’s early but times are tougher than ever…  digging deep is way harder this year for everyone except those fine fellows who were lucky enough to get golden parachutes (like insurance execs from Geico).

Speaking of small…

You may have seen the Super Bowl Commercial with the Baby trading stock on ETrade…  I don’t care if your are a baby or an adult… you barf when you push the trade button.  I often tell my friends that my 401K has turned into a 101K.  But you have the Axa Gorilla say “But what do I know?  I am just the 800 pound gorilla in the room.”. If investing was that easy I would not be writing a blog and frankly you would care less.  Advertising makes anything look easy as 0% financing and wash board abs with a pill.  Sooner than later you end up paying for it in one way or another.

You would have to live in a cave to not have seen those Geiko commercials - “So Easy a Caveman Can Do It”.  I have a new one for ya… ”So Easy a 3 year old Can Do It”.  During the Bears game today, we were blessed to have our friends and my God Daughter Giada come over to watch the game.  To keep her entertained David (dad) gives Giada and IPhone to play with.  In between my screaming at Rex Grossman, I heard Giada say “Dad I can do it!”.  And she did.  She know how to navigate the buttons and menus to get to her favorite games.  Some of those games David and Julie bought just for Giada, but I was amazed since I know some people who have an IPhone and can’t get their contacts to sync.

How many of you would hand your Blackberry to a 3 year old? The IPhone is so intuitive that Giada know how to switch screens and find her games, then start and run them.  She also knows what to avoid (like making a call or deleting contacts).  This girl can barely read so you know it’s all about the menus and pictures.

So if you want advice on giving back, investing or the IPhone, wait a few years and Giada will have her own blog.  and soon after that, Dad will be paying bills for text messages, video mail and who the heck knows what else.  All I can hope is that I can teach her to give back…  Maybe she can give me text messaging lessons in a couple of years?  Now let’s see a Caveman do that?

If you are seasoned B2b-Blog reader, you know of my trials and tribulations with Comcast.  I spent hours on hold waiting for tech support, they wanted to charge me to cancel a service after 8 years and more.  Well I hit my wall last week.  

They have a nice little trick called teaser rates like the $33 triple play.  When you get more than the basics it adds up to $132.99 a month. When I cancelled my internet and kept my cable they wanted to charge me a $13 fee to cancel and raise my cable to $85 a month.  But when I said cancel it, they gave me another teaser rate for 6 months of $39.95.  When you add the HD DVR you add $13.99 (started out at $5) and they discounted that to $6.66. Talk about the devil in the details? That dropped my bill to $55 a month.   

Now AT&T Uverse was about that price but you have to add $5 a month for 3 rooms because each TV needs a receiver box and that shot it up to around $70 a month.  

The day I agreed to keep my Comcast cable,  I set a reminder 6 months out in my calendar that said “Call Comcast for a new teaser rate”. So I hop on the on hold device and press 1-3-2-4-1-2-1-4-0-0-0-0-0 (when you apply the proper algorithm to this it also adds up to 666), and waited for 6 minutes (while listening to a Muzak version of the “Devil Went Down to Georgia”) to talk to a live person to cancel (or threaten to do so to get another teaser rate).  I get a nice lady named Sally (which is loosely translated in Babylonian as Beelzebub). I nicely say “Hi I think my teaser rate is ending and I want to cancel my service.”.  She said “Sir (which is loosely translated in Babylonian as IDIOT), your teaser rate has already ended.  Your new rate is $94.99 a month.”. There was an additional $10 in fees - a $5 Babylonian translation fee and a $5 exorcism tax.  She did offer me free Showtime for 6 month with my new rate.  I quickly checked out Showtime they were featuring certain movies this month - “The Omen”, ”The Devil’s Advocate”, ”Rosemary’s Baby”, ”Prince of Darkness” and ”The Devil Wears Prada”.  I once again uttered that Comcast phrase of disdain “Are you kidding me?”. 

I then called AT&T and got through in less than a minute.  The cost was still $70 and they now have an added bonus I will explain later.  Since I already had the internet I was able to get an install day three days away.

When the tech showed up he was floored at how well wired my house was.  I had ethernet by each TV.  The cool thing is you can run the AT&T UVerse box off cable or ethernet. We quickly installed main DVR (by Ole Mitz) the three remote boxes.  Small glitch was the residential gateway was not properly programmed and once he reset all 4 TV’s worked flawlessly. During the install, my neighbor called and told me to send the tech over to their house.  They had ordered UVerse weeks ago and have to wait over another week for their install.  

I was lucky since I already had the service so they got the tech out faster than a full install (That took 3 days the first time).  It’s dicey whether you can get this new service.  It is run over fiber optic cable to the main box and the regular phone wires into your house.  I had three sets of techs come out to make this work.  That is good news for my neighbors since I early adopted and now they know it works here.  It may be a while for some older sub divisions are upgraded with fiber optic cable. Now UVerse is in such a high demand that new orders are taking up to a month to get a tech out for service.

For you non techies I will tell you how it works and why it is so cool!  When you get Comcast internet you get a cable into your house and you are responsible for getting the cable modem.  With AT&T UVerse, they give you a box called the residential gateway.  It is a wired and wireless router that feeds internet to your entire house.  It feeds TV, and Digital Phone all from this one box (if you choose those services).  From there, you can connect the TV set top boxes via cable or internet.  I chose ethernet and it works great.  The set top box is 10″ square (1/4 the size of the Comcast box).   The remote is smaller and has cooler features like commercial skip, picture in picture preview, and has an interactive feature for weather, sports and stocks that interacts with your on-line AT&T web page. 

Now for more of the cool stuff.  You record up to 4 regular or 2 HD programs at once.  On all the other boxes you can get a list of those recorded programs and view them on any TV. You can also program your DVR over the internet or on your mobile phone.  You log into an AT&T account and can view listings and schedule and manage your recordings.

There was much joy and dancing when my I finally got to call up Comcast and cancel.  They asked why and I said “Cost.”.  Then they asked do you want to drop off the box, mail it or have a service call.  Drop-off sounded the cheapest so I agreed to that.  Two days later Comcast calls to schedule a free pick-up.  It’s funny…  It’s a 4 hour window for a tech support call but only a 2 hour window to disconnect?  Hmmmm.  The tech arrives on time and I hand him the set top box and he says “Where are the other two boxes I have listed?”.  I said “Probably with the other 7 you guys came out to re-install over the years.”.  I only had one.

Now that my house is Comcast free I feel a sense of calm…  Almost like an evil presence has been removed from my house.  Just the thought of paying $3.15 a day to watch TV was just nuts $2.35 with AT&T is not much better but I feel overall I am getting better service, more channels and cool new features. My AT&T UVerse Internet has been flawless and the TV so far has been outstanding.

The only scary thing left was the kids coming around for Halloween yesterday dressed up as Comcast technicians.

It’s hard to believe that Halloween is days away.  As a kid, I used to take pride in getting a bigger bowl of candy than my brother or sister.  After high school, it was all about creating the funniest costume.  Now a days Halloween means only 4 more day of this stinking political attack ads that make you sick.  This is Chicago so make sure you… vote early - and vote often!  But I digress…

It also marks a cycle of life in Chicago.  Time to polish and put away the golf clubs (well maybe) and double check the snowblower is gonna start this year (well maybe).  It also marks the beginning of the Christmas season.  As a kid I thought Christmas season started the day after Thanksgiving, but now a days it starts the day after Labor Day.  Stores already have set up isles of lights and ornaments. Being a Mac enthusiast, I have come to get more excited about the cycles of Mac announcements.

Every February at Mac World, Apple announces the new stuff for the year that will change computing forever.  In June they announce new IPhone and IPod models.  In October they often update Mac Books and IMacs in prep for the holiday sales season.

New Mac Books

This year it was updates to the Mac Book and Mac Book Pro lines. Last week they announced the new lines along with a new display - an LED 24″ display designed for their laptop lines.  Laptops are selling faster than desktops because people like to take their data and programs with them.  They are a bit more expensive then last years models but they double the memory (2GB) and increased the hard drive size (160 MB) for an additional $100.

These updates offer a newly designed unibody aluminum case that has only 4 screws that hold it together.  It also has a thinner display and faster graphics processor.  Another completely new feature is the glass track pad has no buttons.  then entire pad is a button.  It works more like an IPhone display than a traditional track pad.

The new display is coming soon and looks cool.  It powers the Laptop through a mag safe connector and has the ultracompact Mini DisplayPort connector with 3 external USB ports.  This is the first Apple Cinema Displays with a built in ISight camera and speakers.  There is a convenience factor that comes with using this with a Mac Book that can’t be beat by any other display.  With a $899 price tag it makes this out of reach for the average Jane (sick of Joe’s).  You can buy a 22″ at Tiger Direct for under $300.  They also have a 30″ for $1369 so Apple is not the most expensive.  The only plus is if you spend as much time in front of a monitor as I do you may find the quality of this display worth the extra cost.

Keeping Up with the Bytes

I always get a bit disappointed when new and faster machines come out but not enough to buy one.  I usually get 3-4 years out of any machine, so I buy the fastest machine I can afford when it’s time.  Both my Mac Pro and my Mac Book Pro are more than fast enough and get used everyday.  I like to think of renting technology, not buying it.  That is because it all changes so fast.  

Besides hardware, software is updated each year also.  Just to keep up I spend as much if not more on software updates as I would on hardware.  An example is Adobe Creative Suite.  An upgrade will cost me $800 for a move up to a suite of PhotoShop, Dreamweaver, Acrobat and more (I have to buy InDesign upgrade separate because it is not in this suite).  Tack that on to Final Cut Studio Upgrade ($500) and Filemaker 9 ($179) Quickbooks 2009 ($199) and dozens of little programs (around $50 each) and you can rack up somewhere between $2500-$3000 a year just keeping up with the latest and greatest software that you use everyday.

Mac Vs PC

I gave two speeches this week ( an executive forum and a marketing class) and both ended the same way. People were intrigued with my Mac Book Pro and the presentation quality.  They asked “Why Mac?”.  Well I said that even though they are more expensive than other laptops, you get more when you open the box.

Most people don’t take into account that PeeCee’s come loaded with trial ware so you are on your own for most software. Apple comes loaded out of the box with ILife.  Yes, you can buy a laptop for $500 but you have to get into the over $1000 range to start to get close in performance to a Mac Book.

If you purchase a low end Mac Book Pro (15″) ($1999) and a copy of IWork ($89) and you compete with a business class HP ($1149), MS Office ($399), then you need video software, web software, picture software to match ILife and you are starting to match Apples and Ogres.

If you have never been to an Apple Store, you owe it to yourself.  Gateway tried it with not much luck.  There is a reason why Apple is opening  stores.  If you decide to switch from PC to Mac, they will even transfer all your files to your new Mac from you PC and show you how to access them. Then you can load Windowz on a mac via VMWare, and you can run all your programs that are not available for Mac.  So it’s like getting two machines in one.

Nothing is spookier than a two headed computer monster.  Now if I could only get Apple to pay me for all the advice and Macs I have helped sold, I won’t have to dress up as a geek and go house to house begging for candy any more.  I could afford to buy it myself!

Anyone sick of the elections raise your hands…  I know that both major candidates have some core issues that they stick with but there are other issues that pop up week to week out of nowhere.  When my wife and I watch the debates we have a card and play Buzzword Bingo.  I got the Idea from an IPhone app that allows you to check off buzzwords in a corporate meeting.  Our Political one has words like Maverick, Change, Terrorist, My Friend(s), Bush, Reagan, Soccer Mom, Voted X Times, and more…  well you get the point. As time has rolled on, each has changed their positions, staff, even running mates to re-invent their image to voters.

That happens in the corporate world all the time as well.  When management teams come together to deal with a perceived or real issue, they often create programs and subsequent training (if you are lucky). In the old days these were called Re-Orgs…  Today they are called Re-Invention. Now, having been an employee at several major corporations and a wife who has worked almost 15 years for the same company we have seen our fair share of these. 

I’ve even seen it in small business when I worked at Joe’s Shoes (not to be confused with Joe the Plumber). The owner came to me one day and said, “You are doing a great job.  You have excellent selling skills.  So I am giving you a raise from $3 an hour to $1.50 and 15% commission.”. I was proud and already spending my new fortune from shoe sales until he said, “Now get downstairs and stock some shoes”.  At our house we have a saying (and many of you have heard it)… “Don’t pee on my shoes and tell me it’s raining.”.

There is a good and necessary side to re-invention. Within the last week or so I have seen that come up time and again. I was golfing with a friend and he said the economy and his industry of meeting planning is forcing him to re-invent himself.  I was talking with a friend who is a financial planner and with the rocky economy, he has turned from more of a salesman to helping current clients manage funds to weather the storms. I am working with a client who has seen her manufacturing business dwindle as companies take manufacturing and assemblies overseas.  I am interviewing clients to try to help her re-invent her business in a way that will attract new clients in niche markets that she has never had time to tap into.  I also helped a company with a Powerpoint™ presentation and a website for a trade show coming up this weekend. They called me in at the 11th hour because they felt they needed a little re-invention of their marketing message.

I am a lifelong re-inventor of myself.  I started out as a musician, learned recording, then broke into video production. Then opened an audio marketing business that eventually developed computer presentations and cd-roms.  Then I learned web development and ultimately web marketing like banner ads and google sponsored ads, then I learned eCommerce, eMail marketing, blogging and podcasting and the beat goes on. Now I teach and do speeches.  This week I am talking to an executive forum and teaching electronic marketing at Elgin Community College.

In these days of downturn, the depression is part mental and part financial. I hope you are not hit too hard by either.  You have probably heard, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing oven and over and expecting different results.  You need to look at who you communicate to and how you communicate to them. If clients are struggling, offer them encouragement and tips to use you more cost effectively.  Short term losses are better than long term no clients.  Maybe you have to look at your current clients and see if you have an untapped niche you can approach.  Maybe you have to re-invent yourself by adding a new skill or applying your knowledge in a new way.  I work with non-profits and teach to hone skills, learn new ways of approaching business, and potentially develop new clients and/or services.

If ‘Joe The Plumber” is listening, it’s quite the re-invention to go from plumber to plumbing business owner.  My buddy Jeremy has done just that.  He started small and built his business through integrity and fair business practices.  That has lead to testimonials and referrals.  He now has bought a building, created a website, started using google sponsored ads, and added financing as a tool to help people get work done in tight economic times. Fixing a leak is one thing…  managing and being responsible for a fleet of leak fixers is another.