Thats’ Geek to Me…

Have you ever watched a speech at the United Nations? You have people from countries from all over the world listening to speeches with one ear glued to a white ear ring.  That… my friends… is a translator talking to delegates and guests in their native language.

Hence my challenge…  I have to give a presentation to a room full of geeks on how to market themselves.  Now keep in mind I market myself as a “Professional Geek”, but these guys (and gals) are in a different level in the kingdom of geekdom.  These guys speak in a language that you need a white translator cup glued to your ear.

Let’s say a client asks them to create a website that gives them the ability to update the pages…  A standard reply might be, “Dewd… I can build you a CMS  by installing a Drupal or Joomla system that works on a linux server, but that has to include php/MySql with register globals turned on.  I will need root access to assure the permissions on the file structure allow at least 755 access to let you upload files to pre-defined directories.” (I get all that).  The client has a few choices…  nod like a bobble head Chihauhau in the back a of a ’69 Impala…  ask for Cliff Notes… or keep looking for a vendor they can communicate with!

In all fairness, not every geek speaks like that.  The reality is that we sometimes expect other to know what we are saying because it’s common knowledge among our peers.

Something like that happened to me just the other day.  I got an eMail from my friend Jim who said he was having a new entertainment center built and wanted to know what he needed to use his MacBook to play music and show pictures on his TV.  Someone suggested an Apple TV and he wanted my opinion.  I told him that the Apple TV was the right answer and I had two.  He replied “You’re funny.  Can’t afford a TV.  I have a perfectly good 50″ plasma that is 3 years old.  Not ready for that expense.  So given that… answer my question!!!”.  Apple TV is an inexpensive (relative) box that connects to a TV that allows you to sync your ITunes and and your photos without need for the computer.  He thought that Apple TV was a TV (widescreen display).  This option cost him only a little more than the IPod dock and MacBook adapter he was looking at (and way more convenient).  My Bad… I expected that he know what an Apple TV was, and with a subsequent phone call, he finally got it (after that and a trip to apple.com and the Apple store).

Well back to my speech… Using the above example “A potential client wants to create a website that gives them the ability to update the pages.”.  Here is what I would tell them…

1) Define Your Brand
If you work as an independent contractor…  You ARE the Brand.  More often than not, we tend to say either nothing compelling to potential clients, or “Yeah… I can do that!”.  The brand is too complex for this blog…  but think of positioning yourself as a solution to a problem.    An example would be “A Cure to the Common Computer”, or  ”Got Hacked?” (ala Got Milk?) or “We Make Not-Working Networking…  Work Right for You!”.  You have to think of branding yourself as positioning what you offer as different than your competition.

2) Know Your Market
Just because you are a geek who works with IT staff, that does not necessarily mean that they are your target market.  You may need to sell to small company Presidents, management staff or mid to large level purchasing departments.  Each of those speak different languages, and have a different idea of success or a good fit.  You have to target them with different messages, and maybe you have to present a range of solutions that matches each (or all) of their different problems!

3) Get Know Your Potential Client
You have to gauge what the client knows, wants to know and what are their circumstances are behind their ultimate goal.   You may find out that they were having trouble with their last vendor not being responsive to their requests.  You also may discover that they have a limited budget and virtually no time to make the updates themselves.  You may get the job of doing basic updates only to become the vendor of choice when budgets loosen and that big job is yours for the taking.

One last thought…  Don’t be afraid to sell to your strengths and sub-contract work weaknesses.  If you are a good programmer, you may want to develop relationships with people that augment what you have to offer.  I employ designers, programmers, Flash people, writers, voice over people and more to help make my projects more professional and complete (all within my clients expectations or budget!).

Suzie (Blah Blah Blah)…
Normally this is where I write about Harley the Dog  (fear not… he is doing just fine).  I have written about the Basilico Bird Buffet and other parts of our zoo, but this post is about Kim’s fish ‘Sushi’ (a very feisty Beta or Japanese Fighting Fish).  Sushi got his name after our son Tim texted me a picture of him swallowing a goldfish whole in college.  We just guessed that he needed some protein after a steady diet of ramen noodles.

I work from my home office on the second floor while Kim surfs from her Mac Mini in the kitchen.  She will often screams something up at me that she has found on-line about the Bears, Global Warming or something one of her (or our) friends post on Facebook.

One night last week, I hear this scream from downstairs “Suzie (Blah Blah Blah)…” (thinking she was talking about her Facebook friend Suzie) to which I respond “What?”. Then again louder “Suzie (Blah Blah Blah)…” to which I respond “What?”.  After the third time I head downstairs to find Kim standing in the kitchen shaking and she tells me “”SUSHI JUST WENT DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL…” to which I respond “WHAT?”.  Kim was cleaning his bowl, during which he made a break for it.  Rather then spend his life in a fish bowl… Sushi, in a long standing Japanese Fighting Fish Samari tradition…  tried to commit Sushi-scide… with a perfect 10.0 dive from his temporary bowl, right down the center of the garbage disposal.

I calmly slip my hand down the ‘Disposal of Death’ and feel around, being aware that I could easily cut myself and drown him in a pool of blood (OK I am being dramatic).  I feel a flop…  I corner him in that round room filled with egg shells, onion, and a touch who knows what, and wait till he flops into my awaiting soft and gentle grasp.  I return him to his bowl and turn to comfort my hyperventilating wife (after I wash my hands of course).  He was fine and swimming back in his bowl with a small piece of eggshell on his back!

I know it’s kinda a fish tail, but I would never eggs-aggerate something so traumatic!

Bonus Video of the Week!

It’s a sad week… Art Clokey, the creator of the whimsical clay figure Gumby, died in his sleep Friday at his home in Los Osos, Calif, He was 88.  In honor him and of my birthday this week I take you back the the roots of my youth!  I never imagined in my lifetime that I would see Gumby in a rock band, a light-saber fight or in outer space!

Enjoy!